I remember as a child, having to share the back seat of the family car with my younger brother and sister. In an effort to mark out our ‘territory’ we would create invisible divisions on the seat and warn each other of the perils associated with crossing the line.

If you’ve been watching the Olympics during the last week or so you would have seen, unconsciously or otherwise, numerous physical boundaries associated with each discipline – lane dividers in the pool, paint on the track and ropes in the boxing ring – all designed to distinguish the space where the action is happening and the place of the athlete in that event.

Boundaries – like invisible cultural and sociological fences – distinguish a particular space from another, allowing us to see where one space ends and another begins. Unlike a solid wall that can only be climbed over with great difficulty, effective personal boundaries, like fences, still allow others to see what is taking place on the other side. Within these fences are gates which occasionally allow us to invite and be invited to join another in a new space.

In ministry, good personal boundaries are essential; it is very easy to say ‘yes’ to something or someone and it is much harder to say ‘no’. But perhaps the hardest of all is to hear ‘no’ as this can strike a personal chord causing us to question not only the validity of our original intention but the motivations and agenda of the other person.

The articulation of personal boundaries is a healthy and effective part of life and ministry but we must be clear about what we say and how we say it, and even clearer about how we hear what others say.

“The day is yours, and yours also the night; you established the sun and moon. It was you who set all the boundaries of the earth; you made both summer and winter. (Psalm 74:16-17 NIV)